1. Avoid fruit because it makes you fat.
Oh-no! Fructose!! Its worse than heroin and makes you instantly gain fat the moment that delicious banana reaches your lips.
Definitely don’t eat grapes!!
Grapes have a glycemic index of 4,000,007 and will instantly ruin your diet. You should definitely avoid foods that nature spent a billion years making and instead eat the latest made in the lab diet shake…
Fruit is healthy. Eat fruit.

2. Wait for the absolute right time to start.
Didn’t you know?

Haven’t you heard?

Your goal in life is to get to a perfect state of balance where everything just works perfectly and your exercise fits in right before your kids do exactly as they’re told and your boss gives you a raise.

Um, as if!

I am a crazy, untidy, never-cleans-my-house, fly by the seat of my pants, do whats in front of me –

But fine as hell –


The perfect time is never gonna happen and the world is full of overweight women waiting for the right time.

3. Include cereal as part of your regular diet.
Do you know how to double the nutrition value of a bowl of cereal?

Eat the box with it.

4. Blame your lack of weight loss on your genes.
Yes, honey.

You’re right.

Its your genes.

Nature has spent 2 million years making the miracle that is the human body –

But just screwed up yours.


Hopefully next time you reincarnate as a dolphin.

5. Focus on food, exercise, supplements and portion size – while not drinking enough water.
Food, exercise, supplements – all of it is useless when you are dehydrated. In fact the most useful thing about most supplements is that you have to drink water to get them down!

Dehydration will make you overeat, emotionally eat and drink too much coffee… And in 15 years we have had only ONE woman properly hydrated when she first started working with us.

Drink more water.

When you feel hungry… drink water.

When you feel tired…. drink water.

When your elbow gets itchy… water!

6. Eat lots of small meals each day.
Here’s some science guaranteed to be sponsored by your local supermarket – eat MORE to lose weight!
Oh yeah sound advice.

My favourite part especially, is when you have to eat that 3rd, 4th, 5th or 6th meal of the day even though you haven’t taken a poop in 3 days and your body has completely SWITCHED OFF your hunger!

How bout this for a radical idea – only eat WHEN YOU ARE HUNGRY!!!!

7. Worrying about your “macros” while you’re still eating processed foods each day
Why the absolute hell would you count the amount of sweet potato you eat each day (which is the only healthy carb of course) –
When you still eat processed foods??!

Processed food is a TREAT. I can’t believe we are the only ones saying this!!

Are all the celebrity “health gurus” too afraid that no one will buy their celebrity diet program if they don’t put pictures of pasta and toast on the front of the website??!

8. Obsess over everything you eat.
You know how you think about every meal and wonder whats going to work and how much of this or that you should have and then, because you’re so stressed out about it, you throw your hands up and just eat treats anyway?

Yeah, thats not gonna work.

You were never meant to spend your day stressing over what, when and how much to eat.

9. Keep believing your metabolism is “slow”
Your metabolism works just fine.

You keep eating the wrong foods for it.

10.Sticking out your diet even though you hate it, just because you think it will “work”.
This is the most dangerous and serious point on this list gorgeous.

You were never meant to do stuff you hate just to get a result.

You were never meant to “force” your body to lose weight be perfectly calculating the right ratio of protein, carbs and fats each day and sticking to it.

You were never meant to find the perfect system that if only you follow unfailingly each day –

Whether you like it or not –

Eventually you will “get there”.

Only to discover that you have to KEEP DOING that boring, restrictive, mentally draining plan – forever.

That’s not living.

Its torture.

You are a creative, inspiring, sometimes messy, sometimes organised (or not often in my case), sometimes indulgent, often emotional, passionate crazy –


And its time for you to honour it.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Remember that movie The Ring with the girl that climbed out of the TV? Yeah, well if you don’t share this with your friends then that girl is going to come visit you in your sleep tonight.

You’ve been warned! 😉


If this list speaks to you and you are looking for a better way, see the link down below in the comments to find out more about The Body Hustle With Stacey & Ryan.

It doesn’t have to be a chore beautiful!