I don’t mean the kind where you organise your kids, your finances, watch tv and sleep next to each other.
I mean a real relationship that is being nourished, where you actually spend quality time with each other, have conversation outside of bills and renovations?
One where you connect over a glass or two of wine, wrestle each other, go on date nights, have great sex, stay up late in bed talking, actual FUN?
Do you want to?
Ryan and I have always prioritised our relationship, even when shit gets hard and we lack the time, the funds or the energy.
We always prioritise US.
Ryan and I both grew up and saw our parents separate. We vowed to ourselves and each other that we would put our relationship first.
Yes, that means before our kids.
Meaning we wouldn’t allow our time to slip away, for our lives to go by, living through and around our kids.
We will never settle for a good relationship, we want it to stand on its own in the realm of greatness.
We realized along time ago that we would not compromise on this, we would not allow our love and connection to fizzle and die.
And that meant going deep into our own personal shit and looking at what we each brought to the table in our relationship.
What triggers us.
What unconscious behaviors are ruling our actions or reactions.
What are our beliefs around relationships, ourselves and how could we unpack these, so we could come together in the now.
You see, most relationships I see are disconnected and surface level.
People fight, argue and have a need to be RIGHT, I know I operated from this place for a long time and when I’m tired I do revert to my automatic programming of not wanting to be wrong.
Not many people are willing to talk, to really open up in relationships because at the surface level of all relationships, men want to solve the woman’s problems and don’t like to talk about there on shit and women want to talk about their own shit and not take action to change the shit…
We don’t know how to meet each other at a new level of understanding, a new level of connection.
An understanding and connection that Ryan and I have in our relationship
One where you never take things PERSONALLY.
One where you always assume that other has your BEST interests at heart.
One where you openly talk and be vulnerable with each other, about how things make you feel or how something they did made you feel. And again not taking it personally. For we seek the truth, not the story that is created from conditioning.
We are all conditioned by our own experience, our childhood and society and every time we have an interaction, we see what someone else has done through our own experience. We make assumptions or stories based on that – this is where a lot of people go wrong.
They make assumptions about their partner that may or may not be true, allowing their emotions and story telling to take over.
This is where the REAL conversation piece comes into it. If you are not willing to ask your husband (without having already made up your mind) why he did what he did, without accusation, without judgement then you need to look at why you cant or aren’t willing to do this.
Why aren’t you openly communicating?
What are you scared of?
What are you worried about?
Why cant you or your partner look at this stuff, and I’m sorry not sorry if you aren’t willing to look at this stuff as a couple – you will never have a relationship that is out of this world amazing.
It takes work.
It takes time.
It takes looking at your own shit and owning it.
It takes asking yourself one very important question –
WHAT DO I ACTUALLY WANT MY RELATIONSHIP TO LOOK LIKE?
Mind blowing I know.
But most people don’t ask themselves this question and I think its because they feel they don’t have control over it – but gorgeous, you have everything in your life because you NEED it, because you ASKED for it.
So if you want to CHANGE it, you want something different, start doing and acting differently.
Want to see how having a great body and marriage go hand-in-hand? –> The Unstoppable Body Book
We usually equate low energy with not enough sleep or bad food etc. But in my experience this is only part of the story.
More often than not, if youre feeling flat, tired, slow, grumpy, lazy or you are procrastinating like a mofo –
Then its more about energetic blocks than physical fatigue.
There has been a ton of times over the past year where we could have thrown our hands up, said fuck it and gone into cruise control… ok we may have done this a couple of times… or a couple more than a couple!
But, eventually we ALWAYS put ourselves back on course.
Back towards our goals and dreams.
Back towards the life we know we want to build.
When you feel tired, if youre brutally honest with yourself, often you will find that its not so much the fatigue – but that attachment to the story around the fatigue.
The story might be its not fair my kid kept me up all night…
The story might be life should be easier…
The story might be your hubby / boss / friend / or whoever isnt valuing you enough.
Whatever it is – its just a story. A little tale your mind tells you so that you have an excuse to scroll the facebook or over consume coffee or look for anything to do other than what you know you should… which we did A LOT!
Your body has an almost unlimited ability to handle shit.
Even through tropical jungle nose eating parasites, waking 5 – 10 times per night, literally losing our short term memories and stressing horribly that we had messed up our kids –
We still wrote and launched a (great) book, created automated income streams, stayed lean, did a business retreat and continued to grow personally and professionally.
So if our experience means anything to you, one of the best things you can do each day is to spend some time tuning in to what is going on inside of you – and getting it out.
It is ESSENTIAL, since youre not going to want to eat the foods you know you should every day…
Youre not going to want to do exercise every day…
Youre not going to want to step out of your comfort zone every day to continue to grow…
But these things are a must! Non-negotiables!
Well they are if you want to live the life you deserve – which we want to do.
We like to journal as its powerful but also convenient, so I suggest you start there if youre not right now.
Do it for a week and see the change.
Weight loss just aint gonna happen unless you shift those energetic blocks!
And even if it does, it wont last, since LIFE happens.
There will always be a sleepless night or a bad day or an argument with someone, things that pull you off course unless you can release them!
The Unstoppable Body is a weight loss book that goes beyond just food and exercise… of course it covers this stuff (duh!), but we also look into how you can create the right mindsets and habits to become UNSTOPPABLE in your weight loss journey.
And all for less than a coffee. Even better though, if youre coffee sucks you just have to grin and bear it.
But if you dont love our book – then we dont want you to pay for it.
You can email us and we will give your money back! Hundreds sold and hasnt happened yet, but hey, if it does – all good.
I dont know how much longer we will keep this offer going, so grab it now for some fun weekend reading.
Follow the arrow for the link to get it ⬇️
New Book: The Unstoppable Body
I was talking to a friend yesterday who is also a mentor about the year that was, the sleeplessness and the sickness, the feeling of being underwater all the time and the heartache of watching life slip by whilst feeling like an empty shell.
I told her how the bug I got overseas had eaten a hole through my nose (on the inside, about the size of your little finger!) and that I was really scared that the kids would be affected as well. I very rarely feel parent guilt – I know Im a great dad – but there has definitely been some feelings of guilt and “poor me” that have come as a result of this.
What if something does happen to one of the kids from our decision to go overseas when they were so young? What if this bug eats the middle of my 13 month old son’s nose and affects his breathing his whole life? Will I ever be able to get over the guilt of that? The trauma and gut wrenching personal responsibility that every parent suffers when their child experiences hurt from our decisions or actions.
I was having this thought and feeling just now… and it moved me to tears where I write this.
One of the beliefs that Stace and I have really adopted and tried to embody since we started our entrepreneurial journey – something that we learned from this particular friend of ours – is the idea that
Everything is perfect and exactly as it should be.
Anyone who has built a business knows its tough. Lots of hours, late nights, failures, losses, rejection, spending money that doesnt come back. Nights staring at the ceiling wondering if you’ve made the right choice, to commit to building this passion based biz… or whether you should just take the easy route and go back to your well paid comfortable job.
One thing we found though (and this applies to weight loss in a BIG way) was that often it had nothing to do with what was “happening” in the biz, but more what we chose to BELIEVE about it.
When we first began there were long periods where nothing sold… LONG periods! And even at our peak we still had programs that didnt sell and cost us money. Many times we thought about giving up.
But when we shifted our inner story to the idea that everything happens as it should and is exactly what we need – everything got easier.
The failures were easier…
It was easier to take and knock and just get up and go again the next day…
It didnt change the situation of course! It didnt magically put money in our bank or “manifest” new clients for us or anything like that.
But what it did was allow us to operate with total clarity and total mental and emotional FREEDOM each and every day.
Instead of spending a day or a week whinging and bitching and indulging stories about “its not fair… why does it have to be so hard… we’re good people… we try so hard… boo hoo…” It gives us the clean slate to simply make the best choice THAT DAY and each day after.
It also doesnt mean IGNORING the situation. I am absolutely NOT talking about burying your head in the sand and thinking happy panda bear rainbow thoughts… We were never waiting for the universe to take care of us… while sitting on our butts and watching tv.
You never make good choices when you are affected by doubt or shame or guilt or fear. You will run to what your mind tells you is SAFE, rather than to what your heart says is truly right and aligned for you.
You’ve probably experienced this with your weight loss before? Have you ever started a new diet that worked a little at first, but when suddenly in week 2 or 3 the scales go back up a little – you stop. Abandon ship. Fall off the bandwagon and run, petrified, back to the diet that wasnt even working how you wanted it to before, but that you knew was safe.
The diet that you KNOW wont work, but that at least you wont get any worse?
Dont worry, youre not alone.
Getting into awesome shape as a parent is tough. You have limited time due to work and family, you have less energy and there’s lots of boring routine.
Plus, if youre like most women, you think that your needs come last (we will talk about that another time!)
We speak to women all the time that start fresh on Monday, eat something “off plan” on Tuesday –
And abandon their new program for the rest of the week. “Oh well, Ive stuffed up… so now i will just do whatever until next Monday”. Like somehow next Monday they will suddenly be blessed with new levels of will power!!
So next time you find yourself suffering the mental chatter that follows a “bad decision”, CHOOSE to accept the belief that everything is perfect and as it should be. That the cake you just ate was not only ok, but a NECESSARY part of your journey.
DONT bury your head in the sand and pretend that you can just eat bread and cake and pasta every day of the week and continue to lose weight – that aint gonna work!
But INSTANTLY drop the mental and emotional anguish that comes with that situation, and be free to make the choice you KNOW you need to next.
It makes the journey EASY.
Its what Im choosing to do today.
If you want to lose weight… fast.. and with ease AND you know that you need to make some inner shifts as well as the food and exercise –
Then our book The Unstoppable Body will be the most important book you read – ever!
Not only does it tell you how to work out WHAT to eat, WHEN to eat and HOW MUCH to eat –
It helps you to make the inner shifts… the mental and emotional transformations that are ESSENTIAL to creating lasting weight loss.
Coz heres the thing –
If you just focus on food and exercise –
And dont shift your beliefs towards success –
It wont ever last.
You will ride the weight loss merry-go-round for the next 5, 10 or 20 years…
Let us show you a better way… click here