I was asked this question by my mentor this week – and its been a fucking doozey (doosie? Doozie? Idk)
Its actually had me stuck for 24 hours, stuck in the sense that I didnt feel ready to answer it. I was actually subconsciously afraid of what might come up.
Not afraid in the sense that I would admit to myself that I wanted to do something really creepy or offensive, but afraid in the sense that I would have to admit that I was playing small in some way… and that once I admitted it to myself – that I would have to force myself to take action on it.
You know what Im talking about? When you deep down get the message from your soul or inner guidance that says “You are MORE than you are allowing yourself to be.”
So as I sat to journal this morning – something I do every day – there was a little trepidation about putting the pen to paper.
And as the words flowed out, not from my brain but from some place deeper, some place more connected to my truth – I got the scary answer i was looking for…
Im afraid to admit that I want to be in the limelight… to be followed and listened to and loved for who I truly am… Because at the same time –
Im afraid that people wont really like me for my truth… accept me for who I truly am.
Its not even that Im not mostly my true self, the things I talk about and the beliefs I share are actually what I believe. Im totally comfortable with the fact that I dont believe weight loss has any rules to follow. Im totally cool with saying I truly believe that you can eat all the healthy food in the world and exercise every day, but if your relationships and purpose are off point – it wont results in lasting change.
Its not my beliefs that Im worried about… its just that they come out of MY mouth. Im afraid that even if i continually level myself up, each day, week, month and year, that if I continue to stand atop my soapbox and share my message –
That I will find out its not enough… that Im not enough…
Not enough in the sense that by just being me and sharing my message (which is really our message) I will discover that its not enough to live the life I believe I was born for.
So instead, I stick to whats safe. I relate everything we talk about to weight loss, even though weight loss is really a BY-PRODUCT of getting your life into fucking alignment.
I hint at your relationships being a factor in weight loss… instead of straight out saying that youre kidding yourself if you think that you can maintain a disconnected relationship and easily stay in shape.
I hint at purpose being important… instead of laying down the motherfucking LAW that lack of purpose will always result in feeling stuck, bored, anxious and will soon be followed by uncontrolled binging on the couch every night after dinner to numb the fuck out and disconnect from your life.
I pretend that every woman can get the results she wants…. when really, to be honest, most cant. Not that this has anything to do with their body mind you, but just that most just wont do the work – the inner AND outer work – that is required to live the life they want in the body they want.
Sorry not sorry, but you know deep down whether or not youre going to do what’s needed or whether you are going to write an encyclopaedia of excuses to keep in your back pocket… the encyclopaedia of “Reasons why its not my fault”.
Mostly the main thing I dont say is that I really only want to work with people who identify as being driven. Who really feel like they are born to have more… more of what? Just MORE! More money, more sexiness, more health, more fun, more growth – more LIFE – in the way that feels true for them.
The things we have been committed to for … well since fucking forever. But definitely for the last 8 years or so.
We will continue to experience this too, since we are RELENTLESS in the pursuit of what we want.
So what will it be? Are you ready to admit what you are truly afraid you want?
Are you ready to stop tolerating less than you are truly worth, be that in body, money, relationship or life?
Can you admit and then take action on this this week, today, NOW?
Or are you going to keep on waiting? Waiting for someone else to hand you the life and body you deserve… waiting for someone else to tell you –
YES, YOU ARE WORTHY TO LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT!
Whenever I break through stressing about a situation, whether thats not having what I want or feeling stuck or restricted, I suddenly realise that –
It was always there waiting to be received.
It doesnt matter in what area of life whether its my body or money or health, the moment I decide to let go of the stories that build up in my mind and simply take the action required – the answer just seems to present itself.
Ive been stressing about money recently. There’s things I want to do and, well they cost money. But it hasn’t felt like money has been available to me as much recently.
This really comes back to how I feel about myself. Being sleepless and run down for a while now, I really haven’t felt worthy of commanding the amount of money I usually decide is available to me. Ive felt like “why would someone want to pay me with the way I am now?”
The worst thing with this story is that it stops me making decisions. I just stall. I stop taking action. I find things to make myself feel busy that really when it all comes down to it – dont fucking matter.
This of course just digs the hole a little deeper each day!
This morning its taken an hour to shift myself out of this. To shift the story about what I want not being available to me. To allow my inner state the freedom to be able to make a powerful and aligned decision. And of course…
In the INSTANT I changed my state, my intuition delivered up the answer! Two hours ago I really felt stuck and restricted and was playing “poor me” over and over in my head. I didnt feel like I could find $2 in my car ashtray…
But after making a massive shift in my inner state – suddenly I’ve got $5k coming in.
The KEY thing here though, is that that $5k Im speaking of WAS ALWAYS there, waiting to be got. I just couldn’t see it with my mind clouded as fuck with stories and bullshit and poor me self talk.
The same is true no matter what you are after in life.
If you want more money… its available.
If you want to lose all the weight… the answer is available.
If you want more intimacy… its there for you.
Its there WHEN you are ready to shift the story that it aint.
If youre feeling a little triggered by this, thats cool. I would have been a couple hours ago too. It felt too hard, like life wasnt fair, like no-one would understand. It felt like I was under a mountain of shit so deep I couldn’t see the top.
But just remember –
New millionaires are made every day…
Instagram is full of women just like you with abs…
And someone somewhere is being loved just like you want to.
Make the shift.
Get out of your own way.
Live the life you were born for.
Our first free challenge in FOREVER is here!
Stripped Bare And Re-created is 10 days of inner shifts and releasing old stories that are keeping you from the body, money and intimacy that you want and deserve.
This is a challenge we started for ourselves and decided that we’d invite you on down to play as well.
Since we started for ourselves just over a week ago we’ve already received thousands of dollars in cash mo-ney, been given free clothes and been gifted a $700 self development program!
Of course that’s just whats important to us at the moment – Stripped Bare And Re-created is also about massive weight loss or deep changes to your romantic or friendship life.
Its all free, but its definitely only for you if you are ready to look inwards at how YOU are creating the resistance to what you want in life. Its for women who know they deserve more and take FULL responsibility for their results.
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I don’t mean the kind where you organise your kids, your finances, watch tv and sleep next to each other.
I mean a real relationship that is being nourished, where you actually spend quality time with each other, have conversation outside of bills and renovations?
One where you connect over a glass or two of wine, wrestle each other, go on date nights, have great sex, stay up late in bed talking, actual FUN?
Do you want to?
Ryan and I have always prioritised our relationship, even when shit gets hard and we lack the time, the funds or the energy.
We always prioritise US.
Ryan and I both grew up and saw our parents separate. We vowed to ourselves and each other that we would put our relationship first.
Yes, that means before our kids.
Meaning we wouldn’t allow our time to slip away, for our lives to go by, living through and around our kids.
We will never settle for a good relationship, we want it to stand on its own in the realm of greatness.
We realized along time ago that we would not compromise on this, we would not allow our love and connection to fizzle and die.
And that meant going deep into our own personal shit and looking at what we each brought to the table in our relationship.
What triggers us.
What unconscious behaviors are ruling our actions or reactions.
What are our beliefs around relationships, ourselves and how could we unpack these, so we could come together in the now.
You see, most relationships I see are disconnected and surface level.
People fight, argue and have a need to be RIGHT, I know I operated from this place for a long time and when I’m tired I do revert to my automatic programming of not wanting to be wrong.
Not many people are willing to talk, to really open up in relationships because at the surface level of all relationships, men want to solve the woman’s problems and don’t like to talk about there on shit and women want to talk about their own shit and not take action to change the shit…
We don’t know how to meet each other at a new level of understanding, a new level of connection.
An understanding and connection that Ryan and I have in our relationship
One where you never take things PERSONALLY.
One where you always assume that other has your BEST interests at heart.
One where you openly talk and be vulnerable with each other, about how things make you feel or how something they did made you feel. And again not taking it personally. For we seek the truth, not the story that is created from conditioning.
We are all conditioned by our own experience, our childhood and society and every time we have an interaction, we see what someone else has done through our own experience. We make assumptions or stories based on that – this is where a lot of people go wrong.
They make assumptions about their partner that may or may not be true, allowing their emotions and story telling to take over.
This is where the REAL conversation piece comes into it. If you are not willing to ask your husband (without having already made up your mind) why he did what he did, without accusation, without judgement then you need to look at why you cant or aren’t willing to do this.
Why aren’t you openly communicating?
What are you scared of?
What are you worried about?
Why cant you or your partner look at this stuff, and I’m sorry not sorry if you aren’t willing to look at this stuff as a couple – you will never have a relationship that is out of this world amazing.
It takes work.
It takes time.
It takes looking at your own shit and owning it.
It takes asking yourself one very important question –
WHAT DO I ACTUALLY WANT MY RELATIONSHIP TO LOOK LIKE?
Mind blowing I know.
But most people don’t ask themselves this question and I think its because they feel they don’t have control over it – but gorgeous, you have everything in your life because you NEED it, because you ASKED for it.
So if you want to CHANGE it, you want something different, start doing and acting differently.
Want to see how having a great body and marriage go hand-in-hand? –> The Unstoppable Body Book
We usually equate low energy with not enough sleep or bad food etc. But in my experience this is only part of the story.
More often than not, if youre feeling flat, tired, slow, grumpy, lazy or you are procrastinating like a mofo –
Then its more about energetic blocks than physical fatigue.
There has been a ton of times over the past year where we could have thrown our hands up, said fuck it and gone into cruise control… ok we may have done this a couple of times… or a couple more than a couple!
But, eventually we ALWAYS put ourselves back on course.
Back towards our goals and dreams.
Back towards the life we know we want to build.
When you feel tired, if youre brutally honest with yourself, often you will find that its not so much the fatigue – but that attachment to the story around the fatigue.
The story might be its not fair my kid kept me up all night…
The story might be life should be easier…
The story might be your hubby / boss / friend / or whoever isnt valuing you enough.
Whatever it is – its just a story. A little tale your mind tells you so that you have an excuse to scroll the facebook or over consume coffee or look for anything to do other than what you know you should… which we did A LOT!
Your body has an almost unlimited ability to handle shit.
Even through tropical jungle nose eating parasites, waking 5 – 10 times per night, literally losing our short term memories and stressing horribly that we had messed up our kids –
We still wrote and launched a (great) book, created automated income streams, stayed lean, did a business retreat and continued to grow personally and professionally.
So if our experience means anything to you, one of the best things you can do each day is to spend some time tuning in to what is going on inside of you – and getting it out.
It is ESSENTIAL, since youre not going to want to eat the foods you know you should every day…
Youre not going to want to do exercise every day…
Youre not going to want to step out of your comfort zone every day to continue to grow…
But these things are a must! Non-negotiables!
Well they are if you want to live the life you deserve – which we want to do.
We like to journal as its powerful but also convenient, so I suggest you start there if youre not right now.
Do it for a week and see the change.
Weight loss just aint gonna happen unless you shift those energetic blocks!
And even if it does, it wont last, since LIFE happens.
There will always be a sleepless night or a bad day or an argument with someone, things that pull you off course unless you can release them!
The Unstoppable Body is a weight loss book that goes beyond just food and exercise… of course it covers this stuff (duh!), but we also look into how you can create the right mindsets and habits to become UNSTOPPABLE in your weight loss journey.
And all for less than a coffee. Even better though, if youre coffee sucks you just have to grin and bear it.
But if you dont love our book – then we dont want you to pay for it.
You can email us and we will give your money back! Hundreds sold and hasnt happened yet, but hey, if it does – all good.
I dont know how much longer we will keep this offer going, so grab it now for some fun weekend reading.
Follow the arrow for the link to get it ⬇️
New Book: The Unstoppable Body
I was talking to a friend yesterday who is also a mentor about the year that was, the sleeplessness and the sickness, the feeling of being underwater all the time and the heartache of watching life slip by whilst feeling like an empty shell.
I told her how the bug I got overseas had eaten a hole through my nose (on the inside, about the size of your little finger!) and that I was really scared that the kids would be affected as well. I very rarely feel parent guilt – I know Im a great dad – but there has definitely been some feelings of guilt and “poor me” that have come as a result of this.
What if something does happen to one of the kids from our decision to go overseas when they were so young? What if this bug eats the middle of my 13 month old son’s nose and affects his breathing his whole life? Will I ever be able to get over the guilt of that? The trauma and gut wrenching personal responsibility that every parent suffers when their child experiences hurt from our decisions or actions.
I was having this thought and feeling just now… and it moved me to tears where I write this.
One of the beliefs that Stace and I have really adopted and tried to embody since we started our entrepreneurial journey – something that we learned from this particular friend of ours – is the idea that
Everything is perfect and exactly as it should be.
Anyone who has built a business knows its tough. Lots of hours, late nights, failures, losses, rejection, spending money that doesnt come back. Nights staring at the ceiling wondering if you’ve made the right choice, to commit to building this passion based biz… or whether you should just take the easy route and go back to your well paid comfortable job.
One thing we found though (and this applies to weight loss in a BIG way) was that often it had nothing to do with what was “happening” in the biz, but more what we chose to BELIEVE about it.
When we first began there were long periods where nothing sold… LONG periods! And even at our peak we still had programs that didnt sell and cost us money. Many times we thought about giving up.
But when we shifted our inner story to the idea that everything happens as it should and is exactly what we need – everything got easier.
The failures were easier…
It was easier to take and knock and just get up and go again the next day…
It didnt change the situation of course! It didnt magically put money in our bank or “manifest” new clients for us or anything like that.
But what it did was allow us to operate with total clarity and total mental and emotional FREEDOM each and every day.
Instead of spending a day or a week whinging and bitching and indulging stories about “its not fair… why does it have to be so hard… we’re good people… we try so hard… boo hoo…” It gives us the clean slate to simply make the best choice THAT DAY and each day after.
It also doesnt mean IGNORING the situation. I am absolutely NOT talking about burying your head in the sand and thinking happy panda bear rainbow thoughts… We were never waiting for the universe to take care of us… while sitting on our butts and watching tv.
You never make good choices when you are affected by doubt or shame or guilt or fear. You will run to what your mind tells you is SAFE, rather than to what your heart says is truly right and aligned for you.
You’ve probably experienced this with your weight loss before? Have you ever started a new diet that worked a little at first, but when suddenly in week 2 or 3 the scales go back up a little – you stop. Abandon ship. Fall off the bandwagon and run, petrified, back to the diet that wasnt even working how you wanted it to before, but that you knew was safe.
The diet that you KNOW wont work, but that at least you wont get any worse?
Dont worry, youre not alone.
Getting into awesome shape as a parent is tough. You have limited time due to work and family, you have less energy and there’s lots of boring routine.
Plus, if youre like most women, you think that your needs come last (we will talk about that another time!)
We speak to women all the time that start fresh on Monday, eat something “off plan” on Tuesday –
And abandon their new program for the rest of the week. “Oh well, Ive stuffed up… so now i will just do whatever until next Monday”. Like somehow next Monday they will suddenly be blessed with new levels of will power!!
So next time you find yourself suffering the mental chatter that follows a “bad decision”, CHOOSE to accept the belief that everything is perfect and as it should be. That the cake you just ate was not only ok, but a NECESSARY part of your journey.
DONT bury your head in the sand and pretend that you can just eat bread and cake and pasta every day of the week and continue to lose weight – that aint gonna work!
But INSTANTLY drop the mental and emotional anguish that comes with that situation, and be free to make the choice you KNOW you need to next.
It makes the journey EASY.
Its what Im choosing to do today.
If you want to lose weight… fast.. and with ease AND you know that you need to make some inner shifts as well as the food and exercise –
Then our book The Unstoppable Body will be the most important book you read – ever!
Not only does it tell you how to work out WHAT to eat, WHEN to eat and HOW MUCH to eat –
It helps you to make the inner shifts… the mental and emotional transformations that are ESSENTIAL to creating lasting weight loss.
Coz heres the thing –
If you just focus on food and exercise –
And dont shift your beliefs towards success –
It wont ever last.
You will ride the weight loss merry-go-round for the next 5, 10 or 20 years…
Let us show you a better way… click here
Do you really think that to get in amazing shape and to feel energised and on fire that you need to get the whole thing perfect?
That your training needs to be every day, for at least a certain amount of time, doing weights and cardio and stretching and relaxation… or that there is somehow a “best” way to train to lose weight?
That your diet needs to be somehow perfectly balanced between protein, carbs and fats (because no one just eats food anymore, everything is a macro) and that your brekky, lunch and dinner have to look a certain way… and that you need to find yourself the magical meal plan that you just follow every single day?
I used to think this way.
I used to be so concerned about doing my workouts perfectly and getting my meals EXACTLY right based on the latest scientific theory about macronutrients, to the point where I would systematically reduce my calories each week.
The thing is –
It fucks your mind up!
And its not necessary.
I found it so incredibly stressful doing this all the time. Not because the process was stressful, but because I found myself constantly thinking about food and whether or not I was doing it “right”.
Here’s the thing, our bodies arent machines. If you take two of the same cars, and put 40 litres of fuel in them, they will go pretty much the same distance. The input and output is the same.
Your body is NOT like that.
Its a complex physical, emotional and spiritual being that can change how the fuel is used just by THINKING.
If we take two women the same size and feed them both 2000 calories and the exact same exercise program, one could lose weight and one could gain it.
Say one of those women was totally stressed out because she believed that eating carbs was “bad” and our meal plan included some delicious potatoes.
She will lose weight more slowly than the other. Hmmm, maybe I should clear this up – she will lose FAT much more slowly, since stress massively impacts fat loss.
So what you BELIEVE about weight loss WILL affect your progress.
If you believe that your diet needs to be perfect – and you cant live up to it – then the stress will slow down your results.
This is why we tell our clients that there is no food you can eat that is worse than stressing about it.
Now, dont take this to mean you can just sit on the couch and eat whatever as long as you dont stress about it. Youre still gonna have to eat a mostly wholefoods diet and do some freakin exercise each day.
It means when that complex mix of emotions and spirit that is you feels like a muffin –
Just have it.
It means to let go of the perfect ratio of foods that go into each meal.
It means let go of the need for an exact plan that you can follow like a machine each and every day.
It means accepting that you arent perfect, wont ever be perfect and that thats OK.
Better for an extra muffin a week than to stop your whole fucking weight loss plan on Tuesday because you fell off the bandwagon on Monday… Sound like you? Dont worry, it has happened to EVERY woman Ive ever spoken to!
My perfectionism runs DEEP.
I first realised it a decade ago and have been working to release it ever since.
Sometimes I nail it… and sometimes I find myself back in the place chasing the magical combination.
Whatever you choose to believe about food, exercise and weight loss, I want to remind you that life was never meant to be spent obsessing over your body.
Weight loss should be easy – it IS easy – if you allow it.
That might be hard to hear from where you are right now, but its true. In our year of sleeplessness (thankfully now resolving!!!!) want to know how much weight we’ve gained?
We are both as lean as we were when training more and getting more sleep.
Our beliefs dont require us to be perfect to stay in great shape. (We both look a bit older though for sure! 🧓😂)
So eat well, make great choices, but choose to believe that it can be easy and that you dont need to nail it every single day to get there.
If you want a real way to eat to get lean, be energised as fuck and without turning it into grade 8 algebra class (uh, maths) then you owe it to yourself to get our book –
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There is a better way to win this whole weight loss game and in the book we share 28 years of combined experience on how we keep our booty’s in shape all year round, no matter whats going in “in life”.
If youre currently doing the work, exercising, eating well but just cant seem to make your results stick –
Then grab this book NOW!
Its just $3.97 and it comes with not one, but TWO awesome bonuses. 🔥
We think that you will love it, that it will change your life in some way, but if it doesnt –
Then just email us and we will refund your money –
And let you keep the book anyway.
This offer wont last forever, so click the link below and grab yours today! ⬇️
Grab Your Book Here