I was just walking down near the coast when someone pulled up their car and tried to make fun of me.
Its funny how we can sense weird or potentially confrontational situations before they happen… I got a vibe from the car that was coming in the opposite direction and looked straight at the driver.
He had an odd smile on his face, like he was in on a practical joke or something and I noticed the car start to slow down as it approached me.
My heart rate went up just a tiny bit as the car stopped next to me… the guy in the back put his head out the window and yelled in a sarcastic voice “huge muscles man”.
The car erupted in laugher as it drove away and I got on with my day.
Then I noticed something…
10 minutes later I was still thinking about it…
Off and on, I would get flashes of anger or aggression…
Why is this even bothering me, i asked myself?
See the thing is, I used to be very self conscious. I had a low sense of self worth and really took everything that everyone said to heart.
I would pretend of course that this wasn’t the case, but the truth was the internally I really allowed things to get to me, when I felt excluded, judged or rejected.
This was my way for years… and I allowed it to affect my behaviour in so many ways, the most common of which was that I stopped being ME and instead tried to work out who to be to get approval.
I shut down my genius and my talents and my light.
Then one day I realised the truth –
That I only felt this way because I didnt value myself enough, because I didnt feel worthy of more.
AND that not everyone was going to like me, no matter how much I tried to be what I thought they wanted.
So instead I loved me more… and decided that people can get fucked if they didnt like me.
Its funny though, how on occasion, those old mindsets we have shifted and healed still on occasion poke their heads through!
I share this because we talk to women EVERY DAY who feel they cant be themselves when around friends or family.
The most common scenario is to be with parents or in laws who ask a million questions – or just downright make fun – about your choice to do something for your body.
“Why are you eating so much raw food?”
“Why are you only drinking juice?”
“Go on, stop being silly / boring / OCD about your diet and just have (whatever cheap junk is on the table)”
Ever dealt with this?
The thing to realise is:
1. You can ALWAYS be in your power and simply make the choice you want to make, without justification, reason or apology, other than “because I choose to”
2. That these comments always come from scared, small people, who are terrified of your decision to be yourself, intimidated by your ability to OWN your choices — and they need to project this onto you to build themselves up.
You can choose to be triggered –
Or you can choose to stay in your power and simply feel compassion for the fact that they dont love themselves enough and doubt their own worth.
Just be YOU!