I was asked this question by my mentor this week – and its been a fucking doozey (doosie? Doozie? Idk)
Its actually had me stuck for 24 hours, stuck in the sense that I didnt feel ready to answer it. I was actually subconsciously afraid of what might come up.
Not afraid in the sense that I would admit to myself that I wanted to do something really creepy or offensive, but afraid in the sense that I would have to admit that I was playing small in some way… and that once I admitted it to myself – that I would have to force myself to take action on it.
You know what Im talking about? When you deep down get the message from your soul or inner guidance that says “You are MORE than you are allowing yourself to be.”
So as I sat to journal this morning – something I do every day – there was a little trepidation about putting the pen to paper.
And as the words flowed out, not from my brain but from some place deeper, some place more connected to my truth – I got the scary answer i was looking for…
Im afraid to admit that I want to be in the limelight… to be followed and listened to and loved for who I truly am… Because at the same time –
Im afraid that people wont really like me for my truth… accept me for who I truly am.
Its not even that Im not mostly my true self, the things I talk about and the beliefs I share are actually what I believe. Im totally comfortable with the fact that I dont believe weight loss has any rules to follow. Im totally cool with saying I truly believe that you can eat all the healthy food in the world and exercise every day, but if your relationships and purpose are off point – it wont results in lasting change.
Its not my beliefs that Im worried about… its just that they come out of MY mouth. Im afraid that even if i continually level myself up, each day, week, month and year, that if I continue to stand atop my soapbox and share my message –
That I will find out its not enough… that Im not enough…
Not enough in the sense that by just being me and sharing my message (which is really our message) I will discover that its not enough to live the life I believe I was born for.
So instead, I stick to whats safe. I relate everything we talk about to weight loss, even though weight loss is really a BY-PRODUCT of getting your life into fucking alignment.
I hint at your relationships being a factor in weight loss… instead of straight out saying that youre kidding yourself if you think that you can maintain a disconnected relationship and easily stay in shape.
I hint at purpose being important… instead of laying down the motherfucking LAW that lack of purpose will always result in feeling stuck, bored, anxious and will soon be followed by uncontrolled binging on the couch every night after dinner to numb the fuck out and disconnect from your life.
I pretend that every woman can get the results she wants…. when really, to be honest, most cant. Not that this has anything to do with their body mind you, but just that most just wont do the work – the inner AND outer work – that is required to live the life they want in the body they want.
Sorry not sorry, but you know deep down whether or not youre going to do what’s needed or whether you are going to write an encyclopaedia of excuses to keep in your back pocket… the encyclopaedia of “Reasons why its not my fault”.
Mostly the main thing I dont say is that I really only want to work with people who identify as being driven. Who really feel like they are born to have more… more of what? Just MORE! More money, more sexiness, more health, more fun, more growth – more LIFE – in the way that feels true for them.
The things we have been committed to for … well since fucking forever. But definitely for the last 8 years or so.
We will continue to experience this too, since we are RELENTLESS in the pursuit of what we want.
So what will it be? Are you ready to admit what you are truly afraid you want?
Are you ready to stop tolerating less than you are truly worth, be that in body, money, relationship or life?
Can you admit and then take action on this this week, today, NOW?
Or are you going to keep on waiting? Waiting for someone else to hand you the life and body you deserve… waiting for someone else to tell you –
YES, YOU ARE WORTHY TO LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT!