Do you have an ACTUAL relationship with your husband?

Do you have an ACTUAL relationship with your husband?

I don’t mean the kind where you organise your kids, your finances, watch tv and sleep next to each other.

I mean a real relationship that is being nourished, where you actually spend quality time with each other, have conversation outside of bills and renovations?
One where you connect over a glass or two of wine, wrestle each other, go on date nights, have great sex, stay up late in bed talking, actual FUN?

Do you?

Don’t you?

Do you want to?

Ryan and I have always prioritised our relationship, even when shit gets hard and we lack the time, the funds or the energy.
We always prioritise US.

Ryan and I both grew up and saw our parents separate. We vowed to ourselves and each other that we would put our relationship first.

Yes, that means before our kids.

Meaning we wouldn’t allow our time to slip away, for our lives to go by, living through and around our kids.

We will never settle for a good relationship, we want it to stand on its own in the realm of greatness.

We realized along time ago that we would not compromise on this, we would not allow our love and connection to fizzle and die.

And that meant going deep into our own personal shit and looking at what we each brought to the table in our relationship.

What triggers us.
What unconscious behaviors are ruling our actions or reactions.
What are our beliefs around relationships, ourselves and how could we unpack these, so we could come together in the now.

You see, most relationships I see are disconnected and surface level.

People fight, argue and have a need to be RIGHT, I know I operated from this place for a long time and when I’m tired I do revert to my automatic programming of not wanting to be wrong.

Not many people are willing to talk, to really open up in relationships because at the surface level of all relationships, men want to solve the woman’s problems and don’t like to talk about there on shit and women want to talk about their own shit and not take action to change the shit…

We don’t know how to meet each other at a new level of understanding, a new level of connection.

An understanding and connection that Ryan and I have in our relationship

One where you never take things PERSONALLY.
One where you always assume that other has your BEST interests at heart.
One where you openly talk and be vulnerable with each other, about how things make you feel or how something they did made you feel. And again not taking it personally. For we seek the truth, not the story that is created from conditioning.

We are all conditioned by our own experience, our childhood and society and every time we have an interaction, we see what someone else has done through our own experience. We make assumptions or stories based on that – this is where a lot of people go wrong.

They make assumptions about their partner that may or may not be true, allowing their emotions and story telling to take over.

This is where the REAL conversation piece comes into it. If you are not willing to ask your husband (without having already made up your mind) why he did what he did, without accusation, without judgement then you need to look at why you cant or aren’t willing to do this.

Why aren’t you openly communicating?
What are you scared of?
What are you worried about?

Why cant you or your partner look at this stuff, and I’m sorry not sorry if you aren’t willing to look at this stuff as a couple – you will never have a relationship that is out of this world amazing.

It takes work.
It takes time.
It takes looking at your own shit and owning it.
It takes asking yourself one very important question –

WHAT DO I ACTUALLY WANT MY RELATIONSHIP TO LOOK LIKE?

Mind blowing I know.

But most people don’t ask themselves this question and I think its because they feel they don’t have control over it – but gorgeous, you have everything in your life because you NEED it, because you ASKED for it.

So if you want to CHANGE it, you want something different, start doing and acting differently.

Stacey

PS
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When You Have No Energy…

When You Have No Energy…

We usually equate low energy with not enough sleep or bad food etc. But in my experience this is only part of the story.

More often than not, if youre feeling flat, tired, slow, grumpy, lazy or you are procrastinating like a mofo –

Then its more about energetic blocks than physical fatigue.

There has been a ton of times over the past year where we could have thrown our hands up, said fuck it and gone into cruise control… ok we may have done this a couple of times… or a couple more than a couple!

But, eventually we ALWAYS put ourselves back on course.

Back towards our goals and dreams.

Back towards the life we know we want to build.

When you feel tired, if youre brutally honest with yourself, often you will find that its not so much the fatigue – but that attachment to the story around the fatigue.

The story might be its not fair my kid kept me up all night…

The story might be life should be easier…

The story might be your hubby / boss / friend / or whoever isnt valuing you enough.

Whatever it is – its just a story. A little tale your mind tells you so that you have an excuse to scroll the facebook or over consume coffee or look for anything to do other than what you know you should… which we did A LOT!

But…

Your body has an almost unlimited ability to handle shit.

Even through tropical jungle nose eating parasites, waking 5 – 10 times per night, literally losing our short term memories and stressing horribly that we had messed up our kids –

We still wrote and launched a (great) book, created automated income streams, stayed lean, did a business retreat and continued to grow personally and professionally.

So if our experience means anything to you, one of the best things you can do each day is to spend some time tuning in to what is going on inside of you – and getting it out.

It is ESSENTIAL, since youre not going to want to eat the foods you know you should every day…

Youre not going to want to do exercise every day…

Youre not going to want to step out of your comfort zone every day to continue to grow…

But these things are a must! Non-negotiables!

Well they are if you want to live the life you deserve – which we want to do.

We like to journal as its powerful but also convenient, so I suggest you start there if youre not right now.

Do it for a week and see the change.

Ryan.

PS

Weight loss just aint gonna happen unless you shift those energetic blocks!

And even if it does, it wont last, since LIFE happens.

There will always be a sleepless night or a bad day or an argument with someone, things that pull you off course unless you can release them!

The Unstoppable Body is a weight loss book that goes beyond just food and exercise… of course it covers this stuff (duh!), but we also look into how you can create the right mindsets and habits to become UNSTOPPABLE in your weight loss journey.

And all for less than a coffee. Even better though, if youre coffee sucks you just have to grin and bear it.

But if you dont love our book – then we dont want you to pay for it.

You can email us and we will give your money back! Hundreds sold and hasnt happened yet, but hey, if it does – all good.

I dont know how much longer we will keep this offer going, so grab it now for some fun weekend reading.

Follow the arrow for the link to get it ⬇️
New Book: The Unstoppable Body

Everything Is Perfect And Exactly As It Should Be

Everything Is Perfect And Exactly As It Should Be

I was talking to a friend yesterday who is also a mentor about the year that was, the sleeplessness and the sickness, the feeling of being underwater all the time and the heartache of watching life slip by whilst feeling like an empty shell.

I told her how the bug I got overseas had eaten a hole through my nose (on the inside, about the size of your little finger!) and that I was really scared that the kids would be affected as well. I very rarely feel parent guilt – I know Im a great dad – but there has definitely been some feelings of guilt and “poor me” that have come as a result of this.

What if something does happen to one of the kids from our decision to go overseas when they were so young? What if this bug eats the middle of my 13 month old son’s nose and affects his breathing his whole life? Will I ever be able to get over the guilt of that? The trauma and gut wrenching personal responsibility that every parent suffers when their child experiences hurt from our decisions or actions.

I was having this thought and feeling just now… and it moved me to tears where I write this.

One of the beliefs that Stace and I have really adopted and tried to embody since we started our entrepreneurial journey – something that we learned from this particular friend of ours – is the idea that

Everything is perfect and exactly as it should be.

Anyone who has built a business knows its tough. Lots of hours, late nights, failures, losses, rejection, spending money that doesnt come back. Nights staring at the ceiling wondering if you’ve made the right choice, to commit to building this passion based biz… or whether you should just take the easy route and go back to your well paid comfortable job.

One thing we found though (and this applies to weight loss in a BIG way) was that often it had nothing to do with what was “happening” in the biz, but more what we chose to BELIEVE about it.

When we first began there were long periods where nothing sold… LONG periods! And even at our peak we still had programs that didnt sell and cost us money. Many times we thought about giving up.

But when we shifted our inner story to the idea that everything happens as it should and is exactly what we need – everything got easier.

The failures were easier…

It was easier to take and knock and just get up and go again the next day…

It didnt change the situation of course! It didnt magically put money in our bank or “manifest” new clients for us or anything like that.

But what it did was allow us to operate with total clarity and total mental and emotional FREEDOM each and every day.

Instead of spending a day or a week whinging and bitching and indulging stories about “its not fair… why does it have to be so hard… we’re good people… we try so hard… boo hoo…” It gives us the clean slate to simply make the best choice THAT DAY and each day after.

It also doesnt mean IGNORING the situation. I am absolutely NOT talking about burying your head in the sand and thinking happy panda bear rainbow thoughts… We were never waiting for the universe to take care of us… while sitting on our butts and watching tv.

You never make good choices when you are affected by doubt or shame or guilt or fear. You will run to what your mind tells you is SAFE, rather than to what your heart says is truly right and aligned for you.

You’ve probably experienced this with your weight loss before? Have you ever started a new diet that worked a little at first, but when suddenly in week 2 or 3 the scales go back up a little – you stop. Abandon ship. Fall off the bandwagon and run, petrified, back to the diet that wasnt even working how you wanted it to before, but that you knew was safe.

The diet that you KNOW wont work, but that at least you wont get any worse?

Dont worry, youre not alone.

Getting into awesome shape as a parent is tough. You have limited time due to work and family, you have less energy and there’s lots of boring routine.

Plus, if youre like most women, you think that your needs come last (we will talk about that another time!)

We speak to women all the time that start fresh on Monday, eat something “off plan” on Tuesday –

And abandon their new program for the rest of the week. “Oh well, Ive stuffed up… so now i will just do whatever until next Monday”. Like somehow next Monday they will suddenly be blessed with new levels of will power!!

You wont!

So next time you find yourself suffering the mental chatter that follows a “bad decision”, CHOOSE to accept the belief that everything is perfect and as it should be. That the cake you just ate was not only ok, but a NECESSARY part of your journey.

DONT bury your head in the sand and pretend that you can just eat bread and cake and pasta every day of the week and continue to lose weight – that aint gonna work!

But INSTANTLY drop the mental and emotional anguish that comes with that situation, and be free to make the choice you KNOW you need to next.

It makes the journey EASY.

Its what Im choosing to do today.

Ryan.

PS

If you want to lose weight… fast.. and with ease AND you know that you need to make some inner shifts as well as the food and exercise –

Then our book The Unstoppable Body will be the most important book you read – ever!

Not only does it tell you how to work out WHAT to eat, WHEN to eat and HOW MUCH to eat –

It helps you to make the inner shifts… the mental and emotional transformations that are ESSENTIAL to creating lasting weight loss.

Coz heres the thing –

If you just focus on food and exercise –

And dont shift your beliefs towards success –

It wont ever last.

You will ride the weight loss merry-go-round for the next 5, 10 or 20 years…

Let us show you a better way… click here

RELEASE THE NEED TO BE PERFECT

RELEASE THE NEED TO BE PERFECT

Do you really think that to get in amazing shape and to feel energised and on fire that you need to get the whole thing perfect?

That your training needs to be every day, for at least a certain amount of time, doing weights and cardio and stretching and relaxation… or that there is somehow a “best” way to train to lose weight?

That your diet needs to be somehow perfectly balanced between protein, carbs and fats (because no one just eats food anymore, everything is a macro) and that your brekky, lunch and dinner have to look a certain way… and that you need to find yourself the magical meal plan that you just follow every single day?

I used to think this way.

I used to be so concerned about doing my workouts perfectly and getting my meals EXACTLY right based on the latest scientific theory about macronutrients, to the point where I would systematically reduce my calories each week.

The thing is –

It fucks your mind up!
And its not necessary.

I found it so incredibly stressful doing this all the time. Not because the process was stressful, but because I found myself constantly thinking about food and whether or not I was doing it “right”.

Here’s the thing, our bodies arent machines. If you take two of the same cars, and put 40 litres of fuel in them, they will go pretty much the same distance. The input and output is the same.

Your body is NOT like that.

Its a complex physical, emotional and spiritual being that can change how the fuel is used just by THINKING.

If we take two women the same size and feed them both 2000 calories and the exact same exercise program, one could lose weight and one could gain it.

Say one of those women was totally stressed out because she believed that eating carbs was “bad” and our meal plan included some delicious potatoes.

She will lose weight more slowly than the other. Hmmm, maybe I should clear this up – she will lose FAT much more slowly, since stress massively impacts fat loss.

So what you BELIEVE about weight loss WILL affect your progress.

If you believe that your diet needs to be perfect – and you cant live up to it – then the stress will slow down your results.

This is why we tell our clients that there is no food you can eat that is worse than stressing about it.

Now, dont take this to mean you can just sit on the couch and eat whatever as long as you dont stress about it. Youre still gonna have to eat a mostly wholefoods diet and do some freakin exercise each day.

It means when that complex mix of emotions and spirit that is you feels like a muffin –

Just have it.
Enjoy it.
Move on.

It means to let go of the perfect ratio of foods that go into each meal.

It means let go of the need for an exact plan that you can follow like a machine each and every day.

It means accepting that you arent perfect, wont ever be perfect and that thats OK.

Better for an extra muffin a week than to stop your whole fucking weight loss plan on Tuesday because you fell off the bandwagon on Monday… Sound like you? Dont worry, it has happened to EVERY woman Ive ever spoken to!

My perfectionism runs DEEP.

I first realised it a decade ago and have been working to release it ever since.

Sometimes I nail it… and sometimes I find myself back in the place chasing the magical combination.

Whatever you choose to believe about food, exercise and weight loss, I want to remind you that life was never meant to be spent obsessing over your body.

Weight loss should be easy – it IS easy – if you allow it.

That might be hard to hear from where you are right now, but its true. In our year of sleeplessness (thankfully now resolving!!!!) want to know how much weight we’ve gained?

None.

We are both as lean as we were when training more and getting more sleep.

Our beliefs dont require us to be perfect to stay in great shape. (We both look a bit older though for sure! 🧓😂)

So eat well, make great choices, but choose to believe that it can be easy and that you dont need to nail it every single day to get there.

PS
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There is a better way to win this whole weight loss game and in the book we share 28 years of combined experience on how we keep our booty’s in shape all year round, no matter whats going in “in life”.

If youre currently doing the work, exercising, eating well but just cant seem to make your results stick –

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Its just $3.97 and it comes with not one, but TWO awesome bonuses. 🔥

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This offer wont last forever, so click the link below and grab yours today! ⬇️
Grab Your Book Here

The Weight Loss Cycle… Sound Familiar?

The Weight Loss Cycle… Sound Familiar?

– Eat “clean”
– Exercise hard
– See some small change
– Plateau
– Work harder
– Fall of the bandwagon and commit “death by chocolate”
– Get back on and try even harder again
– Wonder why it doesnt work despite all the hard work
– More chocolate
– Repeat 5 times trying keto, paleo, crossfit, vegan, or whatever the latest craze is
– Get a trainer
– Enjoy the conversation but not see results
– Decide its genetics / takes too much time / just isnt for you

Right?
It’s such a frustrating cycle…

Ive been thinking lately about cycles in life and how we often have the same frustrating or uncomfortable scenario come back around all the time.

We see many women go through this over and over – they do the work to lose weight and then gain it back. And while this is happening again and again the inner story usually turns to –

Its not fair…
I try so hard…
I’m doing all the right things…

Followed by – blaming.

You blame your hubby for not supporting you by creating the space you need to exercise or prep or relax.

You blame your kids for being so demanding and needing so much time and for being constantly on you.

You blame your parents for the 150 reasons that they weren’t good enough and didnt do a bette job.

You blame your trainer or the online celebrity program that you paid for because it didnt deliver the results.

Everywhere, the finger gets pointed except squarely where it belongs –

Back at you.

I know this because this is what I have been doing lately. Pointing the finger at all and sundry because they arent getting me, arent helping me, arent supporting me, arent magically somehow knowing what Im going through and what I want (even though Im not really telling them clearly).

When the hard truth is –

It ALL on me.
In the way I THINK…
And in the ACTION my thinking makes me take.

Because here’s the thing: cycles have nothing to do with the CIRCUMSTANCES of your life.

You didnt gain the weight back after the last 8 week challenge, online program or diet thing you tried because of time, money or other life circumstances.

Im not saying these arent factors, just that they arent the CAUSE. They are the RESULT.

The true cause, every time and without fail is –

How you think.
What you believe.
And what actions this causes you to take.

Lately I have found myself wondering how it is we are able to make a lot of money, but always end up falling back to our “normal” level.

Its fucking frustrating. We work HARD. So why the fuck doesnt it grow like we want it?

Its not even that our normal level is bad – we live a very comfortable lifestyle. Its just that we haven’t set a new normal in a few years now. And the more I dig into it, the more I do the inner work on it, the more I can see that its totally about what we believe is possible and what “must” be done to create it.

One of the inner beliefs that I have long held onto around money, is that to be next level successful means sacrificing family life to do all the work required. Ive had several friends and mentors over the years who are multimillionaires, who all suffered breakdowns of their family unit.

I’ve realised how much this belief has caused me to drop everything the moment I THINK it could impact things at home.

Because the reality is – there are lots of successful people that enjoy a good home life!

So if youre currently riding the weight loss merry-go-round, frustrated, blaming and generally wondering what the fuck to do –

Its time to change your thinking and beliefs.

You can eat all the freakin salad in the world, but if you cant align your beliefs and thinking with the actions that you need to continually take – you wont ever lock those results in place.

And remember, right now there are thousands of women who are experiencing the exact life challenges you are – and are still in shit hot shape.

What is story that you KEEP on telling yourself, over and over, that is stopping you from locking in the results?

Ryan

PS
Tired of the weight loss merry-go-round, but cant see the way off the ride?

You NEED to get your hands on a copy of our book The Unstoppable Body!

It is THE weight loss book for driven women who just want more!

All 80 pages are packed with valuable content, but is so simple that you could read it in an afternoon.

And Its About More Than JUST Weight Loss…

See, you can use the same system in this book to rock multiple areas of your health and lifestyle.

For example, we’ve had a mother of 5 who also works full time used this system to have the energy to run rings around her kids.

A woman with a 10 year chocolate addiction used this system to free herself from the nightly cravings.

Or if you find that you are constantly gassy and bloated and your stomach “hangs” no matter what you eat – this is for you.

Most importantly of all, this book is about certainty.

I speak to women all the time who did a diet or exercise program once and even though it worked for a while, they always ended up back where they started… and sometimes worse.

Most books on weight loss are focussed on what you “have” to do. They are full of rules to be followed – whether you like them or not. Whether you want to do them for the next 10 years – or not.

This book is different.

It is an uncommon guide to understanding YOUR body and its needs, so that you can always know EXACTLY what you need to do.

Because lets be honest, does your body work the same as five years ago? Ten years ago? What about since baby 1,2 or 3? Im about to turn 33 and after two kids – my diet and exercise needs are completely different than they were just a few years ago!

Long term results – and that feeling of certainty – come from always being able to tune in to what your body needs, today and forever. And that is what this book is about.

Here’s just a FRACTION of what youre getting:

➡️ The only two types of exercise that are worth doing… and which is best for you. Page 45.

➡️ Can you safely lose more than 10kg… in just three weeks – Even if you haven’t lost that much in years? Yes! Page 30.

➡️ Is breakfast the most important meal of the day? For some yes, but for many women it keeps you tired and overweight! Find out if you should ditch it now. Page 45.

➡️ The new approach to working out what how much to eat. No more counting calories, weighing or measuring foods – its like nothing you’ve ever seen before! Page 35.

➡️ A proven way to make it easier to stick to your food and exercise plan…that is also fun and exciting. Page 58.

➡️ You need to join the gym to lose weight, right? Wrong! Actually, we haven’t trained in the gym for several years and very few of our clients do. Page 46.�

➡️ The number #1 thing that derails busy women when they go home to their families. Page 31.

➡️ How to eliminate cravings. Page 55.

➡️ Why you will never have a flat stomach if you dont poop every day. Page 30.

PLUS there are two additional BONUSES for grabbing your copy today!

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LIFE IS HAPPENING FOR YOU NOT TO YOU

LIFE IS HAPPENING FOR YOU NOT TO YOU

I know there is that feeling, when youre DEEP down in the pits of whatever challenge is going on for you right now – maybe its your weight loss challenge, maybe its your not sleeping baby, maybe its work, or maybe its feeling numb in your relationship –

Whatever it is, usually there is that feeling that its happening TO you…

That life is somehow fucking with you in a major way, like spite from some unseen god that is up there pulling the strings to make life feel hard.

I have felt like this a lot this past year. One of the reasons that Jett’s waking has been so hard on Stacey, is that he wouldn’t come to me at night time.

With Charlize, night times were a complete 50/50 affair. When she needed feeding it was Stace’s turn. When she woke to burp or fart or for whatever other reason, it was my turn. I always wanted to be involved and supportive in this part and so it was.

With Jett however, it was very different.

Not only did he not want me to comfort him at night, but he would physically resist me with pretty much all his little might!

He would scream, facepalm me, wriggle and squirm and basically spend the whole time pointing in the direction of our bedroom where he knew Stacey was. If he did fall asleep with me, I think mostly it was exhaustion not comfort.

Of course this made Stace’s life really hard, but was also been challenging for me.

Why wont my kid let me comfort him? Why does he push me away?

“Why hast thou forsaken me, oh lord??!!”

We had our first major shift with Jett’s sleep after seeing Ashja, a woman we have dubbed “The Baby Whisperer” for the instant shifts that she brought about in our life and night time routine.

The full story is long, but one of the things that came out of our sessions was that Jett didnt feel comforted by me, because I was unable to accept my own sensitive nature.

You see, even though I would go to Jett when he cried at night, even though I would pick him up, whisper soothing sounds or hum or sing or any of the 50 different things I tried to comfort him with –

INWARDLY, my feeling was different. Inwardly, it was more of a “get over it” or “toughen up” kind of energy.

Now i wouldn’t have considered myself one of those dad’s that expects my son to be tough. I’ve heard dad’s at the park tell their toddler to “toughen up” after a fall – thats not something I believe in or do.

But at the same time – I’ve always rejected or not liked to admit that I’M sensitive. It wasnt something that was encouraged or rewarded when I was a kid, but in truth –

Im sensitive to food.
Im sensitive to not getting enough sleep.
Im sensitive to peoples feelings.
Im sensitive to nature and the world around me.
And Im a really introspective thinker and sensitive to my thoughts and how people would react to them.

Im a sensitive dude!!

And I tried to cover this up to myself for years. Lifting heavy weights, getting big, muay thai and martial arts, training until I bled or vomited, working my ass to the bone – all in an effort to ignore this fact.

So when Jett cried, it was triggering a dislike of my OWN sensitive nature. I couldn’t accept it in me, and so I couldn’t accept it in him.

I had to love and accept that part of myself, so that Jett could feel loved and accepted himself.

Today our relationship is completely different. The level of love and connection between us is immeasurably more compared to what it was just a few months ago (thank you again Ashja!)

The point of all this is that for months and months I was silently – as well as NOT so silently – resisting the night time situation. I tried not to bitch about it, I worked on my mindset daily to not get dragged down by it. But truth is – I felt like that spiteful god in the sky was fucking with me!!

I realise now that the situation was 100% and totally happening FOR ME.

For my growth.

For my healing.

To deepen my love and connection with my son and the rest of my family.

No matter how hard it has been – I would do it again ten times over to gain what I have.

Whatever you are going through right now – whether you can see it or whether it is hidden from you –

It is happening FOR you. There is a gift in it that can be had, if you can just let yourself see it… A lesson or a learning that will take life to new levels.

Step through the resistance to what is and ask yourself what lesson or the gift is there waiting for you.

PS
Have you got your copy yet of our new book The Unstoppable Body??!

It is THE book for driven women who want to create a HOT AF body – in a way you love!

This 80 page book goes beyond just food and exercise – since I know you are already eating healthy and moving your butt – and delves into the REAL solutions to –

➡️ Night time cravings… page 40…

➡️ Stubborn or slow fat loss… page 29…

➡️ The best types of exercise… Page 46…

➡️ How to choose the right diet for your body… page 35…

➡️ Working out your portion size… page 42…

➡️ When to eat for best fat loss… page 23…

➡️ How to kick results into overdrive… page 69…

And so much more!

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